Hani Sawriea is one of the owners of a local restaurant called Dante’s Pizzeria, located just off the Ponte alla Carraia and is one of five restaurants in the Dante’s Pizzeria chain. Hani is was born in Jordan, but grew up in Qwait--where both of his parents are from. Hani is 34 years old and loves Americans and of course, the people who go to his restaurant.
Lorenzo Cosentino is a friend of Hane’s. He is a 21 year old Florentine that works as a barman at Bar il Ristoro, located near the Duomo in Florence, Italy. His father is from Rome, his mother Florence. He never learned English in school, but instead learned the language through English-speaking tourists that dined at Bar il Ristoro while he worked. Lorenzo is a traveller at heart, and is planning a trip around the world with his friends in September 2010--including a trip to the U.S. to Florida, California, and New York. He attended College for a year and decided it was not for him, he would rather work. He enjoys visiting dance clubs like Central Park in Florence and claims to love American girls, but says they have high-pitched voices and speak very fast.
I am still laughing out loud at that last line of your post, Tiffany.
ReplyDeleteDid you interview these guys together? Would be good to make that part of the story - where you met them, how you ended up interviewing htem.
The interview with Lorenzo is the most developed. I think your readers can get a clearer picture of him, his life and interests.
You got the key info about Lorenzo that matters: Age, employment, main interest in traveling, loving life, essentially. It would have been good to describe him more fully. What does he look like? How does HE talk? Pushy or shy? That helps your reader "see" him as you add material.
Something big to work on: Polishing your work and nailing the technical writing aspects.
Example: You spelled it Hani and Hane in different parts of the interview.
Example 2: The first sentence is a run-on. Need to break it apart, pare it down or add punctuation.
Example3: It's Kuwait, not Qwait.
Google things and ask for proofing help from an English major to help your language skills, K?